I put a 45 lb. plate on your back. Here's the deal: you crank out as many pushups as you can, and I tickle your armpits and ribs ONLY WHILE your NOT moving. If your chest touches the ground (any contact), I get to tickle your feet for 60 seconds past the point where you lift your chest off the ground.
Your pretty strong you crank out about 20 easy wrestle with the next 10.....
You're a pretty smart guy, you stopped with your arms fully extended, doesn't look like you're anywhere near the ground, keepin' those feet safe, eh buddy? Well let's see how this feather slips in and out of your armpit. Bitchin', ain't it, you're not going to be able to stay still long. You're a pretty tough guy, ya crank out a few more. Stopped extended again, eh buddy? Those feet must be pretty damn sensitive. Only a matter of time.
I step over you, my foot on either side, and bend down to your ear: "So how's it feel to be pressing weight while I my fingers tickle yer armpits HARD?" You're sweating, grunting and laughing. I haven't gotten ya yet, but your tiring. "Well, COP, lets see how ya handle your abs, stomach and lower ribs being tickled." I dig deep into your abs and lighter on your sides--you're laughing hard, arms buckling. "Thought you COPS were tough! Well, ya got some pretty big muscles--why don't ya just flex some muscle and bring those big arms down and protect yourself?" (I tickle your side HARD, then up to yer armpits) "Oh MAN, I forgot, ya can't move yer arms can ya? How's it feel to be helpless there, tuff guy?"
3-2-1. The man is on the MAT. Looks like the feet are in for a workout. You see your mistake and struggle up, too late... I got 60 seconds to put you through hell. Slide my fingers on both yer feet from your middle toes up to your center foot, light to hard drag. Your shoulders shake--I gotcha. Then one index finger to a foot, up and down, up and down, slow and steady tickling, then a little faster tickling, up and down those center lines in the middle of your feet, covering just a about 1-2 inches of travel distance. You're cursing and swearing, but man, you're up for the full 60 seconds. Think I'll tickle yer feet one more minute just to break-em in, what ya think? You're just about on the floor with this one, sweating and busting up laughing. But you raise yourself up, and 2 minutes have gone by, BUT MAN your TIRED, you're not moving. Let's see how a FULL assault on them armpits goes now. You go down after about 20 seconds, you're down, you're not going anywhere--arms exhausted. I tickle the shit out of ya for an hour, mostly on your feet.
"Not bad, COP, your prelim work out's over." (Gotcha burned pretty good and I know it.) I untie you. Force you over to the bench press. You're on the bench, chest up. Arms extended behind you and lashed to a barbell with 10 lbs. of weight--feels like a good stretch don't it. The barbell is tied by rope to the floor, behind your head so when your arms are straight up (bench press style fully extended) the barbell's ropes are tight. The barbell is on the far side of the posts, not your side, posts extended past your arm length, the barbell CAN'T be seated. Your feet are propped up on the table and tied--usual style, toes tied back. I start tickling your armpits, not telling you the rules. After about 45 minutes of torso tickling, I slap on 5 more pounds and tickle the shit out of your feet. NO RULES COP, just warming you up.
Now here's the deal: when the bar's at maximum height above you, I tickle the shit out of your armpits. When the bar goes down, it's ALL of your upper body, but not your armpits. When the bar is up again, I tickle your feet, (bar up, it goes armpit, feet, armpit, feet, etc.). Now if ya want a break, you get one, just ask and its 60 seconds off, but you have to down a beer (not easy in your position, all that air that goes with the beer gonna make you pretty drunk).
After your sixth mercy cry, you're laughing out of control, caught between having to drink, make your abs and armpits and feet suffer--yer starting to slide.
"So, COP, where your buddies hangin' these days?", as I pour down your beer. You don't drink and your feet get tickled 1 hour straight. Then ya drink or its another hour straight. You tell me to fuck off and I decide you're breaks are too long -- 30 seconds now. Oh, and lets see how ya handle 5 more lbs. on the barbell--wouldn't want to get soft, would we? The groan and desperate cursing coming from you make it that much more fun.
30 minutes later, looks like ya made it to beer #7. You're drunk, the sweating and working the weight makes the beer hit you hard. And the tickling? Fuck, your defenses are long gone.
RULE CHANGE: Bar's down, your armpits get it, bar's up, and your feet get tickled.
During your breaks, its your abs and ribs (not such a break any more, eh?). And fuck, let's add 5 lbs. to the bar. Beer #7 goes down, and so does your barbell, can see the strain on your armpits. "So, COP, where's the bust?", as I tickle your pits for 30 minutes and YOU ARE DYING. You can't lift, but you call for a break and your abs will suffer. And ya gotta drink. In desperation, you feed me the code words. Looks like ya got a minute or two off.
Wrong code word. Now, nothing pisses me off more than a liar, COP. I think I'll give those feet of yours a fast 40-minute work out. The barbells still down, your HOWLING and dripping in sweat. Back to the game--bar's down, so its armpit time! You're just about in tears. I hit your worst area. You're drunk and getting tickled and not being able to lift the bar drives you over the edge. You finally give me the real codes, and they work!
"Not much of a man, are ya, COP? Your fuckin' buddies are dead." I start to tickle your ribs and creep slowly towards those armpits--you're going out of your mind. All those tuff men dead because of a fucking wimp like you. I TICKLED IT out of YOU ya LOSER. I hit your armpits--you're beat. 15 minutes later, and you're just about ready to pass out--I let you.
Well fuck, I have the rest of the case left.....